Make a Place

By , December 31, 2010 10:41 PM

I had myself a very quiet day today.  The 10 inches or so of snow we got and the frigid temperatures made for a good excuse to stay inside.  And, as it happened, I didn’t speak to anyone either, although I did connect with some friends electronically.  My only reason to venture outdoors was to shovel snow.

Although I had no plans to do so, I found myself working on a vision board, cutting photos and phrases out of old magazines.  These scraps of paper embody concepts and vibrations of the things I’d like to bring into my life.  Nothing has been assembled yet, but I plan to have it well underway, if not completed, this weekend.

As I flipped through a catalog I received in the mail today, I noticed a bit of wisdom on some wall art staged in the background of one of the photos.  I immediately tore out the page because the words on the wall spoke directly to my heart.  What caught my eye, and what felt like validation for the project that consumed most of my day read…

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come.

On this new year’s eve, I’m wishing you all abundantly green trees that attract birds who sing only the sweetest songs.

© 2010, Tamar98. All rights reserved.


Resolution Resolution

By , December 30, 2010 11:07 PM

As long as you have a television, you really don’t even need a calendar to tell you that the new year is nearly upon us.  Have you noticed how many fitness, weight loss, and smoking cessation ads hit the airwaves this time of year?  Oy.  The sad part to me is that advertisers seem to be preying on the new year’s resolutions people make and rarely follow through on.

A good friend asked me a few days ago what my new year’s resolutions might be.  My response to him was that I rarely make once-a-year resolutions anymore because I’ve found that I really have to make resolutions (and the corresponding choices) every day.  For me, I have to frame any goals (or pseudo-resolutions) in such a way that they are gifts that I’m choosing to give myself.  For me, anything that even hints of deprivation is the kiss of death.

But the truth is that it’s often not enough for me.

I received an email today that mentioned a technique advocated by Michael Masterson, a productivity expert, that I thought I’d pass along.  Simply put, whatever is most important for you to achieve, devote your time to it first thing in the morning every day—even if you only dedicate half an hour to it.  Doing this actually puts that goal or activity in the top priority position in your life because it’s the no-excuses-devote-your-first-energy-to-it time slot.   Remember to always make the most of this golden time, even after you meet your first goal.

You have noticed, haven’t you, that you can look at a person’s actions and enumerate their real priorities?  It’s true.  No matter what they tell you is important to them, you’ll see the truth in their choices.  Unfortunately, so many people’s priorities are defined by fear.  How can you tell if your priorities are fear- or love-driven?  You’ll have to do a little brutally honest soul searching.  Some examples: if you spoil your child because you’re deeply afraid of losing her love, or if you make easy, indulgent choices that you know are detrimental to you, or if your sense of status is paramount, or you’re consistently doing things you hate for people you dislike, or you otherwise just know you’re not doing the right thing for you, you’re most likely making choices based on fear.  If you can, try letting love define your priorities instead.

© 2010, Tamar98. All rights reserved.


Let It Snow

By , December 29, 2010 10:53 PM

We’re expecting a big weather change tomorrow.  So far, this fall/winter season has been unusually mild and dry.  In fact, as of today, it has been the driest on record.  (We’ve had a paltry 2 inches or so!)  But, there’s supposed to be a big storm coming tomorrow that’ll bring significant snow and cold.

Whenever I hear weather reports like this, my inclination is to prepare to be housebound.  Admittedly, I’m not a big fan of driving on snowy or icy roads so I prefer to be safe and sound in my house.  I’ll usually venture outside to shovel the accumulating snow or to photograph the changing landscape and frosty quirks that inevitably appear—like the Buddha in my garden getting a white, conical hat or the donut shaped sculpture that balances precariously on flower stakes.

There’s something I find transformative about snow.  I’m always fascinated by its silence, both in how it falls without a sound and how it muffles everyday noise.  The descending flakes also clean the air, leaving it even crisper than with the cold alone.  And, of course, when coated in white, everything looks dramatically different.

I’m taking this weather system as a cleansing in preparation for a new year.  Am I reading too much into it?  Perhaps.  But I think that adding my intention to something that’s going to happen anyway is a win for me!

© 2010, Tamar98. All rights reserved.


Creating Part 3: Gratitude

By , December 28, 2010 8:18 PM

There’s an important aspect of creating that we haven’t gotten to yet.  Part 3 is simple: say thank you for what you’ve received– whether it’s what you envisioned originally or not.  If you don’t like what you received, go back to Part 1 and start anew.  Remember that even if you’re the one doing the asking, and if you’re the one receiving, there’s nothing about this process that’s personal.

Gratitude.  What do you think of when you hear that word?  For me, a sort of religious image is conjured, along with a dose of guilt.  After all, I should be thankful for what I have– whether I want it or not, but especially if I asked for it– because I’m not really deserving of anything I have.  If you have a similar experience with that word, it’s time to shatter that connotation!

Let’s start by redefining the word so that it takes on a more compatible vibration.  In order to do this, you might want to consider approaching this energetically and perhaps even visually.  For example, I get quiet and then imagine myself standing in the role of a teacher at a chalkboard.  With a piece of chalk, I write the word I’m going to explain to my class of students, for whom it’s a completely foreign word.  In other words, I get to define it however I’d like and they will believe me because they have zero preconceived notions about it.  So, that’s what I do… start from scratch and keep what I like and ditch what doesn’t resonate with me.

I think you’ll probably agree that the essence of the word– acknowledging and being thankful– is pretty nice.  How about, then, infusing the word gratitude with the energy of acknowledgement and thankfulness?  You can see the word as a sponge just soaking up and oozing pure acknowledgement and thankfulness.  Is there anything else we should add?  I rather think not, but you can add more if you’d like.  Keep it pure, keep it simple.

You’ll notice that there’s not even an iota of deservingness or obligation factored into my definition and connotation.  I don’t know if you have the same experience, but when I let that concept of “gratitude” be at its highest vibration, without being bogged down by expectations of any sort, the words just sings.

Obviously, you can go through a similar process with any word you choose.

Are you creating yet?  What are you waiting for?

© 2010, Tamar98. All rights reserved.


Not So Little Things

By , December 27, 2010 8:14 PM

People this time of year often talk about the “Christmas spirit” pervading everything.  And it’s true.  This is the season when people are most likely to donate money to worthy causes, ensure that poor children have gifts to open, and serve the homeless communities by helping provide meals.  All those things are wonderful, of course, and the generosity is fabulous.

What baffles me is how, in the shadow of this “spirit,” people can be so unkind toward each other in myriad little ways.  Shopping can be a cutthroat affair as people vie for products and deals.  Traffic is a nightmare as drivers in their haste to get somewhere disregard basic courtesies of the road.  Store employees seem to have banded together and taken a blood oath to never say “thank you,” regardless of the circumstances.  I actually find all this quite baffling.

Even today, I was stopped at a stoplight and next to me was a UPS truck.  The driver and I both glanced at each other simultaneously.  I smiled.  He grimaced and looked away.  At the time, I was headed to a restaurant, for which I had a coupon I’d paid for.  I walked into the restaurant to place a to-go order and subsequently got an earful from the woman behind the counter—how sick she was of these coupons, how the newspaper which had sold them hadn’t allowed them to proofread the copy and much confusion had ensued, and how the restaurant hadn’t gotten anything from the coupons.  Yikes!  Both situations felt like slaps in the face.

It really made me sad, actually.  Have we lost or desensitized ourselves so much that we de-prioritize the faceless masses to that extreme degree?  I hate to think that the answer is yes, but I’m afraid it might be.  So, I’d like to send out a call to everyone out there to resolve to bestow the tiniest of blessings each day on a stranger (or twelve) by giving them a smile, by acknowledging them by looking them in the eye, by asking how they’re doing if they seem frazzled.

By the same token, I was at the grocery store a couple of days ago and the checker was a man, probably in his late 50’s.  I chit-chatted with him about how busy it seemed and asked how he was doing since it seemed so busy.  He lit up.  It was as if he’d been infused with a spark of energy.  So little from me, so much for him.  You know how validating it is to feel seen after being invisible all day.  Nonetheless, I was still surprised to see the effect.

My challenge to all of us is to not to be random in our acts of kindness, but to be consistent.

© 2010, Tamar98. All rights reserved.


Out with the Old

By , December 26, 2010 10:33 PM

The holidays tend to be a pretty solitary time for me.  Although I usually get together with friends at some point or other, the vast majority of my time is typically spent alone.  This year, instead of being depressed about my solitude, I resolved to at least make the time productive.  To be perfectly honest, I’m not sure how successful I’ll end up being as it pertains to not being sad or lonely, but I know I’ll have accomplished the projects I intended to complete.  (Reminder: it’s always important to keep the promises you make to yourself!)

Over the past couple of days, I’ve been cleaning out my closet and dressers.  Yeah, lots of good reasons to do that!  I try to do this at least once per year so that I can rid myself of clutter, see what I actually have, do a donation before the end of the year, and make space for new to come into my life.  But, really, closets aside, I plan to work my way all the way through my house to clean up and clean out.

In addition, today I smudged my house.  I actually did this before I took on my closet, and now I’m thinking I’ll need to do it again once I completely finish that undertaking.  I opened the front door and the back door to let the energy flow, while I walked through my home with a smoldering bundle of sage to purify my space.

There’s something about all this that, for me, marks an end and a new beginning—which is what this time of year is all about.

© 2010, Tamar98. All rights reserved.


Creating Part 2: Receiving

By , December 13, 2010 9:31 PM

Now that you’ve asked for what you want, your second job is to receive what you’ve asked for.  Does that sound obvious?  Well, it sort of is and it sort of isn’t.

For most of us, when we ask for something, we also have distinct ideas about how exactly what we’ve requested should show up in our lives.  That’s the first thing to let go.  If you ask for love, and your mother calls you, that counts (even if it irks you).  If you ask for financial abundance, and later find a quarter in the parking lot, that counts too.  If you request a 40% off coupon from Borders and it arrives in your email box the very next day, that certainly counts also.  The point is that you’re never going to know exactly how it’ll show up.  As a result, you’ll need to pay attention.

Now, the corollary to this is that if you’re not getting what you think you want, you’re probably still getting what you’re asking for.  Let me explain.

Whether you know it or not, whether you want to shoot me for saying this or not, whatever you think about and put your attention on becomes a request to the Universe.

Feeling depressed and lonely and obsessing about it because you’re single for yet another holiday season?  Yeah, the Universe will actually give you more depression and loneliness because you’re putting so much energy into your petition.  Isn’t that nice?

So, that brings up another important point.  Whenever you ask, whatever vibration you put out to the Universe, form your request in the positive.  In other words, don’t say, “I’d like to be rid of my acne.”  Instead say, “I have clear, radiant skin.”  Don’t include anything you want to be rid of in your request, just ask for the end result you want.  You don’t want to confuse the Universe.  If it hears “acne,” all the qualifiers become irrelevant.

The same goes for the vibration you emit.  If you’re asking for joy, find joy in everything you possibly can and get your vibe as joyful as possible.  As goofy as this might sound, the more joyful you are, the easier it will be for more joy to find you.

Needless to say, there is good news in all this.  You can ask as often as you’d like.  If you get something you asked for and it doesn’t really turn out to be all you thought it’d be, ask for something else or in a different way!  As you can probably tell, it’s best not to take this too terribly seriously.  Have fun with it!  Remember: joy breeds more joy.

© 2010, Tamar98. All rights reserved.


Creating Part 1: Gotta Ask

By , December 12, 2010 10:10 PM

Before I had to take a posting break, I promised to talk about how to effectively create, so here goes…  (Although it will take more than a single post.)

If you really boil it down, the process of co-creating is actually just comprised of two parts: asking and receiving.  Even if that sounds simple (it is), it’s not always easy.

Now, when I speak of “asking” for something, I usually direct my request to the Universe, as non-specific as that is.  In some ways, my request goes from me to every atom and all the wisdom in the Universe.  My most powerful requests are launched by my heart and reflect my heart’s desire—not my head’s.  They are simply expressions of what I’d like to try next.

One of my teachers actually talked about sending out a request in the same way that you’d place an order in a restaurant with a waiter.  Specify what you’d like and trust that what you’ve requested is coming your way.  Yes, how long it takes in the kitchen before your meal is ready can vary.  The process of how your food is prepared is not up to you.  You are the recipient of what you’ve ordered, but you don’t get a say in how your request is addressed.

I’ve also found that asking without much attachment to the outcome also works best.  That means don’t be desperate.  After all, another big component in this equation is actually knowing that the Universe is taking care of you and conspiring on your behalf.  As with the waiter, you just know that the food will come.  You’re probably not going to follow the waiter into the kitchen and tell the chef how to do his job.

As obvious as this might sound, the ball starts rolling when you ask for something or express a preference about what you’d like.

My suggestion would be to start small and straightforward in your requests so that you can see how all this works and so that you can practice and build experience.

Ask the Universe to show you something in particular (like the number 11 or angels or whatever) to indicate that you’re on the right path.  Ask for a coupon to help you get a good price for a holiday gift.  Ask for something you can take or leave and keep it very simple.

Keep a lighthearted attitude and play with this.  Have fun with it!

© 2010, Tamar98. All rights reserved.


Short Intermission

By , December 5, 2010 12:51 PM

Dear Readers,

Just a quick post to apologize for needing to take a break this week because of work commitments.

I am working when time allows on the creation post I promised so it will be up as soon as possible, but next weekend at the latest.

Blessings to you for the week!

© 2010, Tamar98. All rights reserved.


Creative Responsibility

By , December 1, 2010 11:06 PM

I stayed late at work tonight because I wanted to thoroughly answer an email that I received at about 4:45pm.  As I was driving home, I was still turning the email over and over in my mind because it caused me to realize something.

The mail I received had a sentence in it to the effect, “what does Tamar think this should be?”  In my response I provided all the information I could, based on my experience.  But, what it should be never entered into the equation for me.  How could I know that?  And I was sort of struck that they haven’t defined what they want it to be.

You know, a situation is really only comprised of two aspects—what you want it to be and what it is.  That’s pretty much it.  Anything else is your interpretation of those aspects and that’s where the “shoulds,” expectations, and disappointments come into play.

What I’ve noticed that some people sort of skip is putting energy into creating the situation they actually want.  To be clear, it seems that lots of people don’t understand that they are at minimum co-creators of their circumstances.  Therefore, when they don’t declare what they want, they’ve passed on an incredible opportunity to have what they want.

I have a few guesses why people don’t define what they want and some hopefully helpful suggestions.

  1. They’re afraid to ask for what they want because they don’t know what they want. If that’s the case, go for something general like how you want to feel or focus on a component that you do know you want.  I haven’t found it to be helpful anyway to go into crazy detail or into how the outcome is delivered to you.
  2. They don’t want the responsibility of being a co-creator. Ok, here’s some tough love: it might be time to pull your head out of the sand.  You’re already creating and therefore responsible, so you may as well create consciously.  Remember, if you create something and then don’t like or want it, create something else!
  3. They don’t know that they can. Now you know!  Start small to build your confidence and know, that like anything, it can take some practice.

Tomorrow, I’ll expand on how to be an effective co-creator.  In the meantime, play with it!

© 2010, Tamar98. All rights reserved.


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