I Need a Dick

By , May 26, 2011 10:04 PM

Do I have your attention?  I thought I might.  But I’m going to keep you in suspense for just a little bit…

Where do you find inspiration?  For me, very often, an aspect of inspiration is actually the surprise at where I find it.  When I least expect it, I am transformed.

Let me explain that when I talk about inspiration, I’m talking about something that usually feels like it originates from outside myself and makes a direct connection with my heart.  It’s not simply an idea that my mind concocts.  It’s powerful, brilliant, exciting, whole, magical, and normally not something I would have expected to be able to come up with on my own because it’s somehow bigger than I am or is outside the box of my usual reality.

About a week ago a friend and I attended the Indie Colorado Cinema Experience during which we watched about 7 short films either filmed or produced in Colorado.  After each screening, if the director was in the house, he or she would field a few questions about their work.  As you might expect with such an event, the material was varied—everything from a humorous training film about customer service, to a few dramatic pieces, to a documentary about haunted places in the state.

One film sandwiched in between the other offerings was a film noir style short.  What really stood out about this film was the dialogue.  It was hysterical!  The language was barely recognizable as English given what a normal conversation today sounds like because it was all in extreme beatnik slang.  Even though the words in many cases didn’t seem to have anything to do with anything, what the characters were communicating came through clearly.  It contained the best line of the evening, delivered with a straight face by a woman: “I need a dick.”  She was, of course, speaking that line to a private detective, but I found it to be a simply fascinating, rich line.

That single sentence sparked quite a conversation between my friend and me.  And, naturally, she and I had a good laugh about it also.  The director of that film said she’d been inspired by a book about beatnik slang.  I felt like the director was able to pay her inspiration forward.

That’s what it’s all about.

© 2011, Tamar98. All rights reserved.

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Urge to Purge

By , May 19, 2011 11:22 PM

Apparently, it doesn’t take very much for me to feel like a genius.  I’m not sure if that’s good or bad, but it feels pretty good at the moment.

Why the self-satisfaction?  Well, I have an old Dell computer that has been cluttering up my house for the past 5 years.  I wanted to salvage the files on the machine before I took it to be recycled.  You might think this’d be a fairly straightforward undertaking.  Not so much when you have a floppy drive and zip drive, but no cd writer on the old machine.  Oh, yeah, and Windows 98.

Needless to say, I had to get creative and lots of things didn’t work.  Tonight I managed to come up with a combination that did.  Yay!

From a timing standpoint, I’m very happy that I’ll be able to get rid of this computer clutter, along with a 21” CRT monitor and an ancient printer.  I am having the urge to purge.  My closets better watch out too because I’m feeling a little merciless.

People always say that endings are just openings for new beginnings.  That’s true, of course, but they are also often poignant and sad, no matter whether it’s the right ending or not.  And there’s the other aspect of not knowing when the next beginning will arrive.  I had such an ending yesterday and I’m finding myself in that mode of letting go of whatever might keep me from taking flight.

I’m reminding myself that the simple act of letting go can be, in itself, a power move.  As the grief is processed and the sadness abates, the new possibilities have an opportunity to guide me in a new direction.

© 2011, Tamar98. All rights reserved.

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Freedom Riders

By , May 16, 2011 10:23 PM

What would you risk in order to stand for what you believe to be right?

This year—this month, in fact—is the 50th anniversary of the Freedom Riders.  I’m ashamed to admit that if I hadn’t watched Oprah a week or so ago, I might today still not know who they are and what they did.

I watched a PBS special tonight entitled simply Freedom Riders.  I think it should be required viewing for everyone.

If you, like me, have not previously heard of the Freedom Riders, they were a diverse group of civil rights activists intent on testing the Supreme Court ruling that stations serving interstate travelers were not subject to local segregation laws.  They boarded Greyhound and Trailways buses in Washington, D.C. and headed for New Orleans.  The first busload of Freedom Riders was attacked and set on fire.  After hearing this news, more Freedom Riders from all over the country got on more buses.  They signed their last wills and testaments before getting on those buses because they knew that there was a good chance they might be killed for attempting to desegregate transportation systems.

The Freedom Riders were a nonviolent group.  Mostly, they were students.  Some dropped out of school during finals in order to participate.  They were threatened, beaten, and imprisoned.  State officials in Alabama initially ignored the President of the United States, but the truth was also that, until things really escalated, President Kennedy’s administration didn’t give them much attention either.  Mississippi imprisoned hundreds of Freedom Riders.

It does make me wonder if I’d have that kind of courage.  I don’t know.  I hope so.

© 2011, Tamar98. All rights reserved.

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Pay the Price

By , May 2, 2011 10:46 PM

Another trip to Dallas has been completed.  What does that mean?  It means I had a chance to finish the book The Shack.

Having the perspective of the entire book at this point, I would recommend it.  There’s a strong religious component which wasn’t of particular interest to me, but I was impressed by the spiritual message.  In fact, I can’t help but wonder if the religious facets were included as a familiar vehicle for people to expand their viewpoint to one more spiritual.

On a completely different note, tonight I posted on Facebook a quotation I stole from several friends’ postings.  I love this.

‎”I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that” -Martin Luther King, Jr.

In the wake of news of Osama Bin Laden’s death, I am a little disturbed by the celebrations.  I understand that many feel a sense of justice as a result of his execution.  I in no way condone his actions or his message of hate and terror, but I also don’t see how this was anything other than an act of revenge.  I suspect that his death will prompt many more innocent lives to be lost in retaliation.  What have we really gained by this?  Are we really accomplishing anything in the big scheme of things?  Are we making the world a safer place?  Are we building bridges or tearing them down and further widening and deepening the existing chasm?

One of the classic spiritual questions spirals around why bad things happen—or are permitted to happen.  I really liked the message on this subject in The Shack.  The author’s explanation is that we humans are given free will and that means that we will all sometimes make bad choices.  Those bad choices have repercussions well beyond the immediate, visible effects.  A difficult reality is that some people make very destructive choices which are rooted in their own woundedness and fear.  This doesn’t absolve them for their actions; it does, however, behoove us to step back and assess how we can make the negative into something positive.

Watching the World Trade Center disintegrate before our eyes nearly 10 years ago was heartbreaking.  Images of that day still bring me to tears.  But, you know, another thing that makes me cry is the degree to which people pulled together to save each other, to support each other through this tragedy, and to re-evaluate the priorities in their lives.  Perhaps some might argue it was an uneven trade, but there was some real beauty that resulted as well that day.

Hmmm…  Having just typed that out, I am struck by the irony at the fact that the events of 9/11 occurred at the World Trade Center.  What are we trading in this world—love or hate?  What’s your currency?

© 2011, Tamar98. All rights reserved.

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