All Shook Up

By , June 7, 2011 9:53 PM

Didya miss me?  I’ve obviously been AWOL for the past several weeks.  Why?  At this point, suffice it to say that things are changing in my life and I’m doing my best to adapt and, hopefully—ultimately—thrive.  Transformation is afoot!

Before my absence, I actually had a post that I’d been working on for a good couple of weeks.  For whatever reason, it never felt done.  Frankly, I didn’t understand it enough to post it either.  I still don’t feel like I’ve learned what I need to from it.  I’m still missing something, but I’m getting closer.  So I’m going to continue to let it incubate for a bit.

But, I’d like to share some general strokes about what’s been going on for me, just in case it’s not just me who’s slogging through this.  Perhaps we can support each other.

I’ve realized lately that I have a commitment problem.  Sure, I readily make commitments to my job and to people I care about—even if they treat me like crap and/or don’t reciprocate.  Where I feel like I’m falling down is in the commitments I make to myself.  I’ve shone the spotlight on the fact that throwing myself under the bus to save/benefit others has been an annoying pattern of mine.  I’m working to change that now, but I have to admit that it’s sort of freaking me out because I’m getting glimpses of the level of self-destruction that has gone along with those choices.

What’s your barometer?  How do you know if you’re doing the right thing for yourself?  Can you tell?  Do you care?  I have to admit that I’m really learning that how others treat you is nothing compared to how much you value yourself.  When you are taking care of yourself, honoring yourself, and loving yourself, what others do doesn’t really matter all that much because if they are not behaving in alignment with what you deserve, the interaction or relationship you have with them will be very short-lived.

© 2011, Tamar98. All rights reserved.

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