Girl in the Bubble

By , June 28, 2011 11:10 PM

I got home Sunday night from a 5-day trip to Los Angeles.  I participated in an intensive training class to become a coach.  In many ways, I’m still trying to recover from my experience there.  In addition to the physical aspects (like poor sleep and extremely limited food choices that my body didn’t like), there is also emotional fallout that I’m processing.

One of the core tenets of this program is radical self-responsibility.  Translated, that means that, as an adult, you are a co-creator of your experience—no matter what your experience happens to be.  To be in this place of self-responsibility, you have to give up the role of being a victim.  Period.

After all my talk about personal power, you might be surprised to hear that giving up victimhood can actually be pretty challenging.  The unconscious core beliefs that define your unpleasant life experiences can be tough to see and accept.  You really have to take a hard look at how your patterns mirror the inner truth you hold about yourself.  Essentially, how you are being in the world determines how people relate to you.  Think about that.  Really think about that.  (An important distinction, though, is that we’re talking about this in relation to who you’re being, not who you are!)

Honestly, there are aspects of this I’m still mulling over.  My project this week is that I am coming to terms with my own invulnerability.  In an attempt to protect myself, I’ve found that I erect some pretty good, virtually impenetrable walls of super-competence and strength.  Sure, the walls protect, but they also obscure and isolate.  And they often leave me feeling unsupported by the people around me, who evidently get the impression I always “have it all handled.”

Don’t get me wrong…  I do have a number of people in my life with whom I’ve lowered the walls.  I’m most likely to use those walls in public, when lots of people are around—when I feel most vulnerable.  And so, people treat me like I’m in a plastic bubble.  (Over the years, I’ve actually had several strangers approach me and comment on how “self-contained” I look.)  It’s time to try something different.  I’ve got nothing to lose.  Do you?

© 2011, Tamar98. All rights reserved.

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